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  More Than A Million Pounds         ★★★
More Than A Million Pounds
[ 作者:广东外语外贸大学06级 刘静月    转贴自:本站原创    点击数:439    更新时间:2009-6-3    文章录入:jiangtiehai ]

 

It was a hot summer day. A crowd of people were standing at the station, waiting impatiently for the bus to come, I was one of them. The sunshine was fierce and there was not a slightest hint of wind. People were hoping desperately that the bus would come the next second so that they could get a cool-off.

After what seemed an hour long of waiting, the bus eventually showed up. Even at a distance people began running, eager to get on the bus. I was pushed by the flow of people to the door and it was so crowded that I couldn’t feel anything but people pushing. It was until the bus went on its way that I realized my purse was gone.

Suddenly embarrassed and astonished, I stood there motionlessly, trying to figure out what I should do. I could feel all the people were staring at me with somehow sympathetic and indifferent eyes, which made me even more upset. I realized that not many choices are left to me, either I got off the bus, or I would talk to the driver for a free ride, which I didn’t feel like doing.

As I was in the midst of hesitation and agony, an old man sitting at the corner came up to me and silently put 2 yuan in my hand. I couldn’t help feeling surprised, because he seemed to be the poorest passenger on the bus. I looked at him, speechless. I searched my brain but I was too moved to say anything. In the end I only managed to smile at him and found myself a seat. But at that moment, I knew I would never forget this kind old man and I could never thank him enough. Even if it was only 2 yuan that he gave me, it weighed more than a million pounds.

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  • 会员『andrea』于2010-4-7 12:08:53发表评论:
  • 评分:3分
        首先,我非常喜欢这个题目,读文章之前对它是种好奇,读后则是种感动。
    在首段作者交待了事情发生的时间,地点,人物等,第二段是情节的进一步发展,三四段则是故事的高潮与结尾。虽然是一件很小的事情,但作者通过自己细腻的笔法,娓娓道来,让整个故事充满了浓浓的人情味,很感人。
    本文一个很大的优点就是善于运用各种分词状语从句,例如第一行“…..,waiting impatiently for the bus to come.”第二段第一行末尾“……,eager to get on the bus.”第三段开头“suddenly embarrassed and astonished, ……”等等。另外倒装句和强调句的使用也为文章增色不少。例如第二段中“even at a distance people began running,…”“It was until the bus went on its way that I realized my purse was gone.”作者在写作中能够轻松自如地变换使用多种句型,使文章读起来连贯通顺,很值得我们学习。最后文章的结尾也令人回味悠长。
    我觉得如果作者在最后一段能细致地刻画一下那位善良的老人的外貌,衣着等等来体现他是“the poorest man on the bus”效果应该会更好。
                                                  (硕士生兼职助教 郭慧君)


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