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Money Flies
[ 作者:Zhong Hualei (钟华蕾)    转贴自:本站原创    点击数:316    更新时间:2009-10-19    文章录入:jiangtiehai ]

  College students find money goes faster than time

 

It’s coming to the end of the semester. Maria begins to worry about how to survive the last month. She has only 300 yuan in her account, and has to borrow money from her classmate now. Borrowing only 200 yuan is a problem big enough to make Maria feel ashamed. She says she won’t depend too much on other people, and she is eager to find a part time job in order to make ends meet. To her surprise, before she could find a part time job, her uncle, who lives in the same city, invited her to dinner and gave her some spending money. Maria is relieved now. “With the money I have got so far, I don’t need to do any part time job now, so I can prepare myself for the final exams.”

Maria is one of those college students who don’t know how to spend their money properly. The fear of running out of money begins to haunt many students when the zhaosf semester is going to the end. Not until the last moment do they wake up from the indulgence of unplanned spending. According to an unofficial survey conducted by students in GDUFS, 79.17% of the college students surveyed don’t write down their consuming records and 68.75% of them don’t plan how to spend their money. No wonder 62.5% of them have experienced the situation of not being able to remain their previous lifestyle with the money left after unreasonable consumption.

This unreasonable spending is due to various reasons. “Living far away from our parents, we have more freedom in terms of using money,” said Lily, who was determined to spend less on food. “I am a snackaholic, now I have to stop buying snacks.”

An estimated 73% of parents don’t regulate their children’s expenditure in college. 43.75% of students said they would regulate themselves. Does self-discipline work? 60% of the students said they found it difficult to carry out their expenditure plan. 56.23% of the students who want to achieve economy said they failed to give up their uneconomical spending habit.

Without self-discipline, college students become vulnerable to the spending beyond their consideration. 54.17% of them are trapped in the deficit because of unexpected expenditure. “There would not be any problem if I didn’t spend 500 yuan buying the ticket of my idol’s concert,” said Maria, “I didn’t know that her concert would be held in this city. If I had known it earlier, I would have saved money.” But she did not regret. “I don’t want to miss the chance to see her so I have to sacrifice a little for it.” In Lydia’s case, the money paid for the class trip to Maofeng Mountain and textbooks become the direct reason for her lacking money. “We will be separated in different classes next year, so the class trip is important. And I didn’t know that we have to pay more for the textbooks.”

They have to pay for their behaviors. Most of them have to regulate their expenditure more strictly when the embarrassing moment comes. Only 18.75% of them will find a part-time job. 29.17% will attend social activities less often in order to save money. 25% will borrow money from their friends. 56.25% of them will turn to their parents. Now they can always rely on their parents at the last moment. But who can they turn to after they graduate? Time flies and so does the money. College students must be aware of the importance of reasonable expenditure before they face the cruel reality.

 

                                           The author's e-address:  181010559@qq.com

 

 

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  •   网友评论:(只显示最新10条。评论内容只代表网友观点,与本站立场无关!)
  • 会员『ethnicrhetoric』于2009-10-27 15:53:16发表评论:
  • 评分:3分
        This is a well written essay. I especially like your narrative introduction. I think you blend narrative quite nicely with analysis. You have a good overall narrative flow: that is, your sentences and paragraphs combine nicely to express your larger idea. However, be mindful of your use of articles, especially “the.” It doesn’t suffocate the paper but you want to be aware of this. In terms of coherence, I felt that Lydia’s case might need to be clarified more. Was she able to purchase her textbooks? How was she lacking self-discipline? In terms of your argument’s rationale, I like your use of statistics. It shows your readers that you’ve done your research. Even more so, it shows that you are a credible scholar and makes your argument more convincing. However, you may want to be mindful of overusing statistics that stand in for your own explanations. Your essay would be more effective if you contextualize your statistics. Explain who your statistics are referring to specifically; are these college students nationwide or just a group of students at one particular college? Please feel free to contact me.
    -Damon Cagnolatti
    (dmc396@psu.edu)

  • 会员『ethnicrhetoric』于2009-10-27 10:19:35发表评论:
  • 评分:3分
        I come away from this essay most impressed by your tone in such poignant phrasings as, "the indulgence of unplanned spending" and "Time flies and so does the money."

    Your statistics from paragraph 2 until the end work very effectively to advance your argument. It helps that the results of surveys are so dramatic. It doesn't place pressure on the statistics to prove any disputes by a narrow margin, but serves to illustrate what many people might already expect.

    Your final call is for people to "be aware of the importance of reasonable expenditure before they face the cruel reality." Do you think there is any value learning from failing, and thus confronting the "cruel reality"?

    Note on a word choice. Your term "idol" in paragraph 5 is both sly and perfect, whether you intended it to be so or not! By using the general category term "idol" and not naming a specific person, you both invite the reader to fill in her or his own name, and point to the exuberant, "worshipful" aspect of "unexpected expenditure."

    Thank you for the opportunity to read your paper. I welcome any response to my comments, and I hope they are helpful.

    Respectfully,

    William Schraufnagel
    wes162@psu.edu

  • 会员『ethnicrhetoric』于2009-10-26 22:17:39发表评论:
  • 评分:3分
        This essay is rhetorically sound. The introduction brings the audience in with a relatable rhetorical situation, Maria is in financial peril. In addition to this catchy storyline, one appealing aspect of this essay is the writer’s ability to present a timely topic in a coherent way. Zhong Hualei has taken the audience, who I assume is fellow college students, into account by using a number of approaches to increase ethos. Statistics, quotations, and information collected from personal interviews are all combined to ensure that the reader is both informed and entertained. The title works well to centralized points emphasized in the conclusion. I’ve noticed that the writer utilized a number of phrases to articulate unreasonable student spending such as, “They have to pay for their behaviors”. Was this intended to be a witty statement? Overall, the essay is structurally sound. While some phrasing may appear awkward there is no problem understanding the writer’s intent, exigency, and purpose. It was enjoyable to read.

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